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13 December 2009 @ 07:57 pm
Have you ever had an idea that you thought was nice, and kinda cool, but when you suggest it, you're turned down, and you feel like the biggest loser in the entire world?

I hope not. XD
Current Mood: Humiliated and kinda toolish
18 November 2009 @ 10:41 pm
What (if any) books would you ban from a high school library? Are there certain subjects that you feel are inappropriate for teenagers regardless of literary merit?
I don't believe in censorship. If a student wants to find out about something, they can, easily, and I think the best place for them to learn about controversial topics is in school.

Also, censorship goes against the United States Constitution, and I believe strongly in the first amendment.
18 November 2009 @ 08:51 pm
Sooooooo there was a speaker in my German class today, and I was told that I could go to Germany over the summer! I'm gonna do it! It'll cost the same as a semester at my current university, and it's only for 5 or 6 weeks! <3 Cannnnnoooootttttt wait! I'm stoked!

Germany this summer! AHHHH!!!

Bremen University!
Current Mood: ecstaticecstatic
22 September 2009 @ 02:25 pm
 Totally got a new haircut yesterday! My BFF Erin says it looks like Strify from Cinema Bizarre and 15 year old Bill Kaulitz had a hair lovechild. XDXD. Made my fucking day. 

With that and my new lip piercing, and I feel like an entirely different person! :)

Oh, and I'm kinda skipping my math class right now. LOLOLOL.

Current Mood: bouncybouncy
Current Music: Pink: Please Don't Leave Me.
28 August 2009 @ 07:23 pm
 I'm back at school for my sophomore year of college! It's all good for me, because I've always been really weird. I don't feel comfortable if I'm not learning something. I like being a student. I like the atmosphere of a classroom, and the stress that comes with homework, upcoming tests, and just general freak outs about random things. 

The best part about this whole college thing is living in my dorm. I have my own room this year. I'm paying 520 extra dollars a semester for it, so I take full advantage of that... I'm usually in my room being antisocial anymore. That's fine, though. I like being the way I am. I'm cool in my own way, and I love me!

So that was just one of the most random blog posts I've ever done... It's not like anyone really reads these things anyway... It's just good to get it out and see it written somewhere. Makes me feel like I'm contributing to something, even if that something is as meaningless as Livejournal... I'm going to try to update this way more often. I like to journal, and I'm tired of using endless tablets when I could just as easily type it up and not use the paper. 

So that is all. Guten Nacht! 
Current Music: Tokio Hotel
23 March 2009 @ 03:47 pm

This is a Black Dagger Brotherhood fanfiction, the first one I've posted, in case anyone is interested...

               The path that led me to Qhuinn is pretty straightforward. My parents were throwing a party and his parents were invited. Of course, Qhuinn wasn’t going, and when his parents, brother, and little sister showed up without him, my mom asked where their other son was. They’d said that Qhuinn was sick. My mom, bleeding heart that she was, asked me if I would go there and take him some soup, give him some company. I agreed because parties aren’t really my thing.

His dad about wigged out, and looking back on it, I understood why afterward. He said it wouldn’t be necessary, but I assured him that it wasn’t a problem and I’d like to have someone my age to talk to, anyway. He nodded and called for their household’s doggen to take me to their place. Before I left, he took me aside.

“He has two different eye colors.” He said. “If you want, you can have the doggen drive you around for a little while. I don’t expect you to really go see him.”

“It’s cool. So his eyes don’t match. I don’t care.”

“As you wish.” He said, giving me the hairy eyeball.

I followed the doggen out to a kick ass BMW and all the while, I pondered his words. Having physical deformities is not tolerated in the Glymera, but surely the guy’s own father wasn’t ashamed of him. After all, it was his own fault, as well as the mothers, how the kid turned out. I felt instantly sorry for the guy I’d never even talked to. I wanted to show him that I didn’t care what colors his eyes were. I wanted him to be able to call one person a friend, at least.

The doggen let me in the house and showed me to the guy’s bedroom. Before he left, he made some kind of weird ass hand gesture at the door, then turned abruptly and left again. I shook my head a little, and raised my fist to knock.

“Sire.” The departing doggen said behind me. Thinking he was speaking to me, I turned to answer.

The little old doggen was bowing to a scrawny pre-trans, just like me, who had an arrogant, pissed off look on his face. He glared at me and the Tupperware container of chicken noodle soup, then turned away from both of us and stomped down the hallway away from us. The doggen left too, as though his attitude was a normal occurrence. I stopped feeling as bad for him.

“Uh, Qhuinn, right?” I asked nervously, following slowly. He shot me a glare over his shoulder and didn’t stop moving. “My mom wanted me to come give you some soup, cause you’re sick.”

“I don’t like soup.” He replied.

“You don’t like any kind of soup?” I asked in disbelief.


“Ok. I’m also here to give you some company.”

“I don’t need any.” Qhuinn replied. “You can go now.”

He dismissed me so easily, like I was a pest that he was shooing away with his hand. I stared at him as he disappeared through a doorway. Fury laced through my bloodstream and I found myself stomping into the room he’d gone into. He had plopped down onto a chair and started flipping through the channels.

“Are you still here?” he asked me, not even bothering to look me in the eye.

“Why are you being such an asshole?” I snarled. “I’m trying to be nice to you and you’re making a total fuck out of yourself.”

“I don’t want your pity. I don’t need someone to come keep me company because they feel sorry that I wasn’t invited to the party. I never get to go to the parties, and I don’t really dig that scene anyway, so take your good will and shove it up your ass.” He snapped at me, then turned his attention back to his TV.  

“I don’t want to pity you, Qhuinn. I just wanted to be a friend. Someone you could talk to. Hang with. But I don’t want friends like you. I want friends who don’t go out of their way to bring other people down. Now, I’m gonna tell my mom that you ate the soup and loved it, because she’s sensitive like that. Don’t let on otherwise. And if you wanted to come to the party, you were invited, just like the rest of your family. I’m heading back now. Are you just going to sit here and brood, or do you want to go have a good time, because it’s obvious that you aren’t sick.” I said, snapping my collar down, straightening it.

“I can’t. I’m not allowed to go to your family’s party, your father told mine that I wasn’t invited. Guess why.” He flipped me off then, by putting his fingertips under his eyes and pulling the bottom lids away from his eyes.

“No he didn’t. Trust me. My father isn’t a bigot at all. He’d be pissed if he heard that someone had suggested that. My father’s a saint.” I argued.

“Ok, must have been my father being his usual self then. Still, you can go. I don’t need you to feel sorry for me.”

“Get off your ass! Get dressed! You’re coming to my birthday party!”

He stared at me in surprise.

“Your birthday party?” he asked. “Why did you leave your own party to bring someone you’ve never met some chicken noodle soup?”

“I heard you were sick. I’m a nice guy, it’s what I do? I make a fool of myself trying to be nice to a guy who obviously doesn’t know what the word means, so never mind. You look enthralled by your show, so I’ll just get back to my insanely boring party.”

I turned to go, setting the Tupperware container down the table next to the door. Before I got back to the hall leading to the waiting doggen, Qhuinn had called for me.

“Hey! Wait!” he said. “You’re right. I’m being an ass. I’m sorry.” He looked sincere, and that’s the only reason I didn’t tell him to shove his apology up his sphincter. I cocked an eyebrow at him, waiting. “My parents are practically evil. They don’t care about me at all, because of my eyes. I have a pretty thick shield. I do tend to lash out without thinking. It was nice of you to bring me some soup, but you don’t have to stay. People don’t like looking at me, I get it.”

“Qhuinn, I don’t care what color your eyes are. So they don’t match. Big deal. One of my arms is a little longer than the other.” I pointed out, straightening my arms out in front of me to show him. He stared at me, dumbfounded, for a minute, then his face turned a little red and he clenched his lips tightly together. I was getting a little concerned, until a strangled laugh escaped him. I smiled. “Laughter! You do have a soul.”

“I’m sorry.” He said, and burst into laughter. “But that is totally pathetic! My eyes are noticeably two different colors, and you try to make me feel better by showing me how one of your arms is a half a centimeter longer than the other!”

“Hey, I’m just trying to help.”

“It worked. I can’t remember the last time I laughed like that.” He told me.

“Glad I could be of service.” I said. “Now get dressed. As my new best friend, you have to be at my party.”

“Your new best friend?” he asked.

“Sure. You have to be my best friend. Nobody else knows about my arm, so it’s like fate.”

He smiled broadly, and I saw, in that relieved expression, that he clearly didn’t have many friends, if he had any at all. I was glad he could count on me to be one. I promised myself that I would be such a great ass friend that he’d forget the pain he’d ever felt at being left out and disliked.

When we’d arrived at my place I introduced him to my mom and dad, who, of course, noticed that his eyes were two different colors, but my dad shook his hand and greeted him like an old friend, and my mom hugged him, because I’s introduced him as my buddy. He looked taken aback, but appreciative. His own parents wigged out when they saw him, but I gave them a stern glare and told them that he’d been feeling better, so I’d made him come to the party, and I wanted to get to know my newest friend.

The love had come later.

I’d been 13 that night, and by the time I was 16, I knew I was gay, and I knew that Qhuinn was the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, but that I would never let him know. I didn’t think he swung that way, but that was fine. I’d have rather had him forever as a friend than risk never having him close to me again. If only I’d have known about the kiss we shared last week so many years ago, I’d have shit myself.

Back in my present body, I pushed the door to the bathroom open and stepped inside. Oh, god, there was Qhuinn, with a female wrapped around him. He turned and saw it was just me, and smiled.

“Forgot to lock the door.” He said. “You wanna play?” He wiggled his eyebrows at me. “Plenty to go around.”

I smiled and glanced at that lucky as fuck female. I shook my head and clicked the lock in place.

“Maybe next time.” I said. He grinned and grinded his hips against her. “Perv.” I bit my lip to not groan aloud, and shut the door, leaving him alone with tonight’s chosen victim.

I think it would be much worse to keep that type of betrayal a secret from a friend than to be the one who has to tell your friend that they're being cheated on. I'd rather tell my friend than have him or her mad at me because I kept it a secret, too.
22 March 2009 @ 07:49 pm
Do you think people deserve second chances?
I think they should be made to prove themselves to you over time, not just be automatically given a second chance. One they have built up enough trust, then they can be given second chances that are equal to the original one they failed on.